Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Bakwas Bandh Karo [Apr-29]

Section G

  • In MKTG, Prof allowed Student to have his word and then had to add “You can pull your hand down now” because Student was making his point with his hand still up in the air.
  • Accounting prof said he would tell us how to value “goodwill” in the later classes. 5 minutes later, with Dr. Reddy’s statements before us, Student says this – “You might want to take my question up later but is this “goodwill” the same “goodwill” that you mentioned earlier”
  • Student : “ We know that CSR generates goodwill…. Can you quantify it?"
  • Student 1: "One the stock is traded, is the par value of any importance?"
     Student 2: (Interjecting before the prof. even has a chance) Yes…. They are…. Especially when you are comparing apples to apples……

  •  Prof: Can anyone explain why Scholes (of the Man U Football club) has no asset value against his name in the balance sheet?

          Student: I Think it is because they have depreciated him completely.

  •  Student: (intending to ask the prof. an intelligent sounding question) “ Can you make THIS sort of a deduction from something like this?” (notice the subtle  use of ambiguity ) 
  • Prof: What are the kinds of random variables?

          Student: It depends, there are kinds of randomness ….. and there are kinds of variables…

Section - D

  • Prof ’s Stats session where he’s deep into Minitab (a statistical software)

          Stud: Sir .. Should we save these tables and graphs ?

    Prof: ???

Section - C

Prof: So, let’s take the case of Pringles. P&G took quite a while with their R&D. When they finally launched the brand, people liked it initially but later on, people thought they tasted artificial.

Student 1: Is P&G proactive or reactive? I think they are proactive. But sometimes I think they are reactive. As I keep thinking, I am leaning more towards reactive. It usually doesn’t matter whether one is proactive or reactive but sometimes it does. They should change their name to Reacter & Gamble.

Prof: That is a good point. However, I am running short of time. Maybe we should continue tomorrow.

Student 2: Sir, I’d like to make a point. This one time, I had a cat. It was a male cat. Don’t ask me how I know it was a male cat. I named him Jumble. He was adorable. We used to play together. I could talk to him for hours, you know. He was my best friend. He liked eating a lot of potato chips. He especially liked Pringles a lot. But I did not know Pringles had preservatives. One day I came back from work and saw Jumble just lying in the corner. He overdosed on Pringles. So, from that day on, I decided that I wouldn’t feed Pringles to anyone.

Prof: What’s your point?

Student 3: Sir, she doesn’t have a point. I was living in the US. So, while I was living in the US, I used to eat a lot of potato chips too. All those chips taste the same. So, Jumble couldn’t have overdosed on Pringles. Did I mention I was living in the US?

Student 4: See, the problem is that potato chips are a commodity. When you compete in this space, you have to compete not just on price but quality too.

Prof: The commodity space only cares about price.

Student 5: She should not have fed Pringles to Jumble. Pringles doesn’t belong to a niche market. When you buy mainstream products, you are compromising on quality. I will give you an example. See, perfumes are a niche industry. My problem is that I smell a lot and I buy a lot of perfume. I’d like perfumes to go back to mainstream.

Student 6: I don’t agree with perfume prices. They are overpriced. I smell too but I refuse to buy perfumes.

Student 2 [again]: I miss Jumbles. He didn’t smell.

Student 5 [again]: Instead of Pringles, you should have given him wine. Wines are a niche industry too. The older the wine, the better they are.

(Entire class boos)

Student 7: I like cats too.

Student 8: I am a dog person. Dogs are adorable. They are loyal too. Marketing is all about creating loyalty to a brand. So, in my view, dog and marketing are synonymous.

Student 9 (whispering to Student10): Dude, WTF is going on?

Student10 (whispering to Student 9): I got no clue man. I came here to listen to the prof. And now we are talking about cats and dogs. Did we pay for this? FML

Section - B

Prof: ** Talks about starbucks and their marketing strategy **

Student 1: Isnt that a bit like French Cafes in Paris?

Student 2: What were you doing in the French Cafe ?

Student 1: I thought I'll run into Paris Hilton.

Student 2: How ?

Student 1: Duh ! Its in her first name !

Student 3 thinking to himself: Since I cant speak with shit in my mouth, I'll scribble "shut up" on Student 1's sheet during the break. This way I can be positioned as an "smartass" to myself and an "idiot" to others. Ek panth Do Kaaj !   

 

One for the Batch

           Students attending classes and randomly forgetting name tags (Oops, where is my name tag ?) I have 2 options :


              (i)                  let me go back to the class and find it
              (ii)                I will just write a mail to students2010.

What the hell, Who has the patience to go back and find it. So…let me write a mail instead:-
“Guys, I know I have been writing these random mails to you 5 times a day since the last 10 days on campus. But you must realize that I am standing for the position of president of the ABC club. So I am going to write 100 more mails to you till you remember my name. So, here is another mail – I have lost my name tag…bla bla bla..goes on and on………….Hey, while writing this mail, I realized that I kept the name tag in my bag. But since I have already spent 10 minutes writing the mail AND I am contesting elections..It is worthwhile that you read what I have written (by the way …sorry for spamming) – AND PLEASE VOTE FOR ME IN THE ELECTIONS”