Bakwas Bandh Karo [Jun-16]

Section A

Global Eco class is on and the Prof is explaining about alpha, factor of productivity and a student asks why alpha doesn’t change and after a long discussion between the prof and the student, the student is has discovered something.

Student: Sir, but alpha will change if there is a genetic evolution !! [Eureka !!]

Section B

Prof: So do you think that any firm can replicate Ducati's brand perception ?

Student: Yes Sir. They can.

Prof: How can they? Ducati has a feel of style and performance which is reflective of Italian culture. The World of Ducati symbolizes that in some sense.

Student: Even Japanese can. They can copy it by having Shaolins and Samurais

** Prof Stumped **

Section C

1. Prof: Does any of you have twins?

** Class Silent **

Prof: Ok, who has a small kid?

Class:

Student (Shouting the question across the class to the student who is “dad”): How old is your kid?

** Class ROFL **

Section H

1. Prof (tired of Arbit CP) : Sorry X we are running out of time i'll listen to your point in the break, unless it is really important.

Student (Heart broken): Ok Sir.

Prof(trying to be funny) Oh come on I was just joking, we would like to hear your point, did you think I was serious ...

Student:- I am not sure sir, I haven’t calibrated your sense of humor yet.

** Class ROFL **

2. Student giving arbit gyaan about what parameters he is using to distinguish the cold drinks, color looks like coke, but tastes like pepsi…. Blah blah

Madam: Just make a choice and go....

** Class ROFL **

3. Madam:- Explaining that the volunteer needs to identify the drink.

Student (stumped) Can I taste the cold drink to make the choice.

** Class ROFL **

Bakwas Bandh Karo [Jun-11]

Section A

1. Student 1 gestures to student 2 (who is an ardent fan of stats Prof) to do some CP in the class while Prof is looking towards the board and writing a equation. Student 2 shows him the middle finger. By this time Prof has turned back and is facing student 2 ** FML **

2. Student in class getting bored. Leans behind to get comfortable … leans more .. leans more … finally his world is turned upside down (The chair gave in … heads on the floor and feet in the air) ** Class ROFL **

Section B

1. Class extension phone starts ringing. Prof irritated. Picks up and keeps the receiver. Phone rings again. Prof gets more irritated. Tries keeping the receiver down again. Phone rings again. Prof gets mad. Tries to take out the phone line. Student 1 in the meanwhile "Sir, why dont you pick the call" ** Class ROFL **

2. Prof teaching about Total Factor Productivity. Shows calculation for US in the slide. 

     Student: "Why about the non-Residual Labour?"

    ** Prof stumped because student had by oversight seen Residential as Residual **

Section C

1. Student opened her Laptop for DMOP class…and loud came the music (actually very loud!!)…which continued for the next 1 min since she couldn’t stop it…and she kept on saying sorry (rather than trying to shut the music down)…Prof commented whether she also expected everyone to start dancing!! ** Class ROFL **

Section F

1. Prof: Are you just telling me Hi or do you have a question?

   Student asks a question which was being explained just then.

   Prof: Welcome to Class. This is what I was just talking about. I do understand that its early morning. But please try to stay awake. ** Class LTAO **

Section G

1. After tasting of the cola drinks by 9 students the prof. says that first glass contained Coke, the 2^nd contained Thums Up and the 3^rd contained Pepsi and no one got it right.

The max anyone got right was 50% and that too just once in my 10 years of teaching experience.However in the US the success rate is slightly higher since Cola drinking culture is a bit more predominant there than India.

Student (Returned only physically from the US but left his soul behind and is still completely in love with the US) – But in US they don’t have Thums Up so how did they recognize that? [Trick question?]

Prof - We used a different cola drink there drink there !!  ** Class ROFL **

2. Prof – In the US people don’t drink bottled water because it is safe but because it is convenient. There even tap water is safe unlike in India.

Student trying to make sure everyone knows he is Amreeka returned – Maa’m, but in Phoenix the tap water isn’t very safe!

 ** Prof stumped ** 

Bakwas Bandh Karo [Jun-09]

Section B

Prof: ** turns to student ** You have a question ?

Student: No sir

Prof: I thought you raised your hand.

student: Sir, I did but I was making the Demand curve

** Class ROFL ** 

Section E

1. Prof: So what should Coke and Pepsi do to increase market share in the world ?

Student 1: Positioning…bla bla bla…branding…bla bla…..Most importantly, I think coke should redesign its packaging, for example coke can be sold in tetra packs (similar to the Frooti Pack)

** Class bursts into laughter **

Student 2: But dude, cola drinks cannot be sold in Tetra Packs as the Fizz will go out

Student 1: Ok, then we can sell it in plastic pouches and carry bags

**** Silence J ! ****

 

2. Prof asks a few students to taste 3 drinks and find out which one is Pepsi and which one is coke

Student 1 : I think the first one is Pepsi, second one is coke, but the third one is totally Disgusting (Hey I didn’t know they produced a disgusting brand too)

Student 2 : ahh…hmmm…The first one is Dr. Pepper, second one is mixture of Pepsi and coke (Wah ! What an observation) and third tastes like Thumbs up (actually, I forgot to brush my teeth before coming to the class)

 

3. Student asks question to prof : Sir, what if the Linear programming is mixed with Collinearity !!!! and straight regression !!!! and we fit in a Molecular model !!!!!! to this ?

Professor : Sorry ? I didn’t get your question ?

Class bursts into laughter

Student : What I mean to say is : Collinearity @#$%^ and straight regression ^&* and a Molecular model @@@

Professor : I think we have reached Term 2 (Wake up)

One for the batch

1. This guy tried to dunk one of the quadies of the birthday boy. He didn’t seem to realize that the person,(the quady),  was almost twice his weight. Over to that this guy carried his fully loaded wallet and an I-phone for the dunking session. The moment this heavy guy goes into the pool, the momentum drags our very own volunteer into the pool, drenching his I-phone and the wallet. Any suggestions on how to get the phone back in working condition?

2. Best usage of a "Reply to All" - Resume for the Honour code committee 

3. The new terror on student_general: Mr. Salute who says "I appreciate your team spirit" to all who abuse the "Reply to All" button

Shit Happens in our Village

1. What's the difference between a non-SV4 guy and a bucket of manure?

Ans: The bucket

2. Historically the price of gobar is based on the weight, so one may think of it as a SRM with a positive linear slope.

 (price of Gobar) = b0 + b1 (Weight of Gobar).

 But we are missing out on a huge lurking variable. Lets dig a bit deep into the context, Gobar is used as a manure, so the Quality of Gobar should also be considered to produce a good harvest.

 Thus

price of Gobar = b0 + b1(Weight of Gobar) + b2(Quality of Gobar in use).

This makes for a MRM.

 Now the Quality of Gobar can also be modeled with regression. Remember, going by context Quality depends on Type of Animal’s Gobar we are using (probably horse in this case) and the health of the horse(he should not be suffering from constipation).

Thus, we can safely say that:

 Quality of Gobar = b’0 + b’1(Type of Animal) + b’2(Health of animal).

Now we have reached that Price of gobar is infact more than a simple MRM it is Multiple MRM.

 [What a teaching from a simple piece of shit and we thought it was just gobar]

3. Gobar ki gandh se aaj mujhe apna gaon yaad aayaa…

Vidhata ne mujhe apne gaon se door kiya

Aur maine yeh __________ ka ________ paayaa

 

Gaon lautne ki bebas chaah kehti hai-

Gaon se door is gaon ko poori tarah sajaayaa jaye..

Sirf gobar hi kyon, ek Gaushala bhi sthaapit ki jaye

 

Bhor ki bela mein…

Karnamrit ka paan ho jab Gau mata rambhaaye

Brahmanand ka anubhav ho jab doodh waalaa bhayya aas paas ke chhatra gaon mein gayya charaaye

Fir sirf hamaara hi gaon kyon, aas paas ke gaon mein bhi saundhi gobar ki gandh failaye ;)

Kadachit isi tarah vatavaran susajjit ho paaye…

Par samay balwaan hai, ghor samasya hai, kathin tapasya hai, yahaan to har ratri amavasya hai L

Sabhi gop gwaalaaon se yahi nivedan hai

Chunki sabhi ka apne gaon jaane ka man hai

Hriday mein shaanti ke pushp sanjoye jaayein

Aao, Gaon se door is chhatra gaon ko poori tarah sajaayein…

4. Am sure that with the manure, end term frustration is playing a big part in this……

Whats the similarity between Gobar and exams….

-          They both stink

-          People try to run away from both

-          Life is cool after exams and green after gobar

-          You never realized when the horse came and dropped the shit and till today u never realized that the exams are here

5. Think of the song “Dilbar Dilbar” starring Sushmita Sen….

NOW read on….

 

Gobar Gobar Gobar

Hoooo…. Gobar Gobar Gobar

 

Badboo hai Sadan hai

Behka mera mann hai

SV mein pada jabse Gobar

Mere SV mein pada jabse Gobar

 

Gobar Gobar Gobar

Gobar Gobar Gobar

6. ghoda’s dilemma…

 

ghoda cannot do dosti with ghaas…

but ghass is pallofying on its “tukda”

but if ghoda does dosti with ghaas, no more tukda..

if no more tukda no more ghaas..

no more ghaas means no more ghoda…

 

problem solved..

go ask the ghoda to make friends with the ghaas !!!!

7. Student 1: Please stop this shit

    Student 2: Well.. apparently… its not us who did this shit !!!

8. Now SV 4 ranks # 1 in FT’s gobar rankings