Bakwas Bandh Karo [Jun-09]

Section B

Prof: ** turns to student ** You have a question ?

Student: No sir

Prof: I thought you raised your hand.

student: Sir, I did but I was making the Demand curve

** Class ROFL ** 

Section E

1. Prof: So what should Coke and Pepsi do to increase market share in the world ?

Student 1: Positioning…bla bla bla…branding…bla bla…..Most importantly, I think coke should redesign its packaging, for example coke can be sold in tetra packs (similar to the Frooti Pack)

** Class bursts into laughter **

Student 2: But dude, cola drinks cannot be sold in Tetra Packs as the Fizz will go out

Student 1: Ok, then we can sell it in plastic pouches and carry bags

**** Silence J ! ****

 

2. Prof asks a few students to taste 3 drinks and find out which one is Pepsi and which one is coke

Student 1 : I think the first one is Pepsi, second one is coke, but the third one is totally Disgusting (Hey I didn’t know they produced a disgusting brand too)

Student 2 : ahh…hmmm…The first one is Dr. Pepper, second one is mixture of Pepsi and coke (Wah ! What an observation) and third tastes like Thumbs up (actually, I forgot to brush my teeth before coming to the class)

 

3. Student asks question to prof : Sir, what if the Linear programming is mixed with Collinearity !!!! and straight regression !!!! and we fit in a Molecular model !!!!!! to this ?

Professor : Sorry ? I didn’t get your question ?

Class bursts into laughter

Student : What I mean to say is : Collinearity @#$%^ and straight regression ^&* and a Molecular model @@@

Professor : I think we have reached Term 2 (Wake up)

One for the batch

1. This guy tried to dunk one of the quadies of the birthday boy. He didn’t seem to realize that the person,(the quady),  was almost twice his weight. Over to that this guy carried his fully loaded wallet and an I-phone for the dunking session. The moment this heavy guy goes into the pool, the momentum drags our very own volunteer into the pool, drenching his I-phone and the wallet. Any suggestions on how to get the phone back in working condition?

2. Best usage of a "Reply to All" - Resume for the Honour code committee 

3. The new terror on student_general: Mr. Salute who says "I appreciate your team spirit" to all who abuse the "Reply to All" button

Shit Happens in our Village

1. What's the difference between a non-SV4 guy and a bucket of manure?

Ans: The bucket

2. Historically the price of gobar is based on the weight, so one may think of it as a SRM with a positive linear slope.

 (price of Gobar) = b0 + b1 (Weight of Gobar).

 But we are missing out on a huge lurking variable. Lets dig a bit deep into the context, Gobar is used as a manure, so the Quality of Gobar should also be considered to produce a good harvest.

 Thus

price of Gobar = b0 + b1(Weight of Gobar) + b2(Quality of Gobar in use).

This makes for a MRM.

 Now the Quality of Gobar can also be modeled with regression. Remember, going by context Quality depends on Type of Animal’s Gobar we are using (probably horse in this case) and the health of the horse(he should not be suffering from constipation).

Thus, we can safely say that:

 Quality of Gobar = b’0 + b’1(Type of Animal) + b’2(Health of animal).

Now we have reached that Price of gobar is infact more than a simple MRM it is Multiple MRM.

 [What a teaching from a simple piece of shit and we thought it was just gobar]

3. Gobar ki gandh se aaj mujhe apna gaon yaad aayaa…

Vidhata ne mujhe apne gaon se door kiya

Aur maine yeh __________ ka ________ paayaa

 

Gaon lautne ki bebas chaah kehti hai-

Gaon se door is gaon ko poori tarah sajaayaa jaye..

Sirf gobar hi kyon, ek Gaushala bhi sthaapit ki jaye

 

Bhor ki bela mein…

Karnamrit ka paan ho jab Gau mata rambhaaye

Brahmanand ka anubhav ho jab doodh waalaa bhayya aas paas ke chhatra gaon mein gayya charaaye

Fir sirf hamaara hi gaon kyon, aas paas ke gaon mein bhi saundhi gobar ki gandh failaye ;)

Kadachit isi tarah vatavaran susajjit ho paaye…

Par samay balwaan hai, ghor samasya hai, kathin tapasya hai, yahaan to har ratri amavasya hai L

Sabhi gop gwaalaaon se yahi nivedan hai

Chunki sabhi ka apne gaon jaane ka man hai

Hriday mein shaanti ke pushp sanjoye jaayein

Aao, Gaon se door is chhatra gaon ko poori tarah sajaayein…

4. Am sure that with the manure, end term frustration is playing a big part in this……

Whats the similarity between Gobar and exams….

-          They both stink

-          People try to run away from both

-          Life is cool after exams and green after gobar

-          You never realized when the horse came and dropped the shit and till today u never realized that the exams are here

5. Think of the song “Dilbar Dilbar” starring Sushmita Sen….

NOW read on….

 

Gobar Gobar Gobar

Hoooo…. Gobar Gobar Gobar

 

Badboo hai Sadan hai

Behka mera mann hai

SV mein pada jabse Gobar

Mere SV mein pada jabse Gobar

 

Gobar Gobar Gobar

Gobar Gobar Gobar

6. ghoda’s dilemma…

 

ghoda cannot do dosti with ghaas…

but ghass is pallofying on its “tukda”

but if ghoda does dosti with ghaas, no more tukda..

if no more tukda no more ghaas..

no more ghaas means no more ghoda…

 

problem solved..

go ask the ghoda to make friends with the ghaas !!!!

7. Student 1: Please stop this shit

    Student 2: Well.. apparently… its not us who did this shit !!!

8. Now SV 4 ranks # 1 in FT’s gobar rankings