Bakwas Bandh Karo [May-12]

Section A

1. Prof: So what do you think Kodak should do to prevent loss of contribution ?

     Student: Sir I think it is impossible !!!

     Class: huh ??

    Student (continues): Sir, America is a capitalistic economy [and we thought Adam Smith was dead ] .. in such a scenario, every company wants to maximise profits but they cant [in IME every one tries to be GSB president but cant..big deal..come to the point] FUJI will start price war and Kodak will succumb [bottom line: if u earn profits you are SC*****].

2.  Prof: So what do you think? Should we launch Fun time or not?

      Student: Sir, Why did Amul launch condensed milk in India ??

      Prof...(nostalgia hitting him hard as he worked in Amul at the start of his career): Excuse me ??

      Student: Sir, why should condensed milk me launched in India when we always boil milk....it shud be launched in USA cause they drink it raw...

      Prof: I have to check with my 20 year old back boss on this..

Section E

The whole section got emotional on what to gift to the Marketing teacher who had his last class. 58 mails were exchanged in all amongst the students of the class. And a poem written as well for the professor :

 

Dear Marketing professor

Met you two weeks ago

Fresh from all the fun

A race from the word go

And now we’re done

 

Quite a task you’ve had

Reining wild horses in

The first time is the worst

Now we’re broken in

 

Tomorrow you’ll leave

And we just want to say

Thanks for being referee

And keeping chaos at bay

 End result : No Conclusion ! Utter Chaos on what to gift and total waste of people’s time who ended up reading all these 58 mails

Section F

A email nomination for mail sent to 2010 on food:

I and a few others have tried to improve the food by talking to the Sarovar chef during the last week [ Yes, talking helps. Ask the Marketing fellows who have made careers out of yapping]. Honestly, the chef seems to be at a loss of ideas. [Maybe he mixed that with Sambar] I request everyone to please come a bit prepared with ideas, [come with the recipe books] so that we have a fruitful [lots of fruits will be cut and different types too] meeting in which we are able to provide some specific directions to the chef to work on. [And I am not talking of Vastu alone]

Section G

Student realizes break is over in Stats class and he pops into the class and then zips across the teaching well to his seat [as if it’s school and the teacher will get angry if he’s late], in the process startling poor Prof and almost knocking him down. Student sits down and the Prof. jokes “That didn’t scare me!” 

Section H

1. Student: Kodak’s advertising strategy is ‘touching on the feeling side’ [Oh thats a dangerous side] and ”Some things in life are priceless" 

1)      2. Stats’ professor explains how a particular data leads to a distribution with high variance.

Student: Sir, what is its physical implication? 

Prof. is unsure of what “physical implication” of high variance means and so he repeats what he said and adds, ”That’s all I can tell you. Its mathematical!”

2)      3. A student says “Sir, I am just trying to wonder……” and then stops for a second to wonder just as the whole class bursts into laughter.

3)     4. Student 1: “Sir, could you please repeat what you just said?”

 Prof: “I forgot what I said.”

 Student 2: “Sir, can I add something to what you said?”

 Prof: “No, I’ll forget that too.”

5.    5. Stats prof: Let’s recap what we did last time. What do we require to create confidence intervals?

     Student (who also likes tandoori chicken and can sleep with his eyes open): Sir, you need confidence!

6. Prof: finishes explaining why a price strategy is not the best idea for Kodak and also that too much differentiation between “special occasion” film and “regular use” film wont lead to results because people don’t change the film in their cameras everytime for different needs.

Student: (very seriously) Sir, that is exactly why the whole market shifted to digital cameras!

(Prof is speechless.)

7. Eco prof: Finishes explaining his theory on how the prolonged interest rate cuts led to a situation where Pc > Pd etc etc and this is why we’re in a recession.

Student: Sir, I think the real blame lies with China because it’s responsible for providing manufactured goods at such low rates that the producers in the US economy were forced to shut down. Also, it indirectly financed the overconsumption in the US by investing in their T-bills and securities.

(Everyone thinks: Wow, way to miss the point completely!)

Not exactly a arbit mail, but this is what you can call a 'Tubelight' mail

"I had left the case of my Salvadore Ferragamo sunglasses in one of your backpacks (during treasure hunt). I lost the person, who’s bag I kept them in." [Time between loss and batti jalne mein: Almost a month]

One for the Batch

We had an outside speaker give a presentation on design and innovation. He put a slide on the projector:

Invention + The Human Context = Innovation

And walked us through that when you take an invention, tinker with it some, it leads to an innovation.

Student question: “Sir, you speak of the human context, but what if I were to invent something for a cow or an elephant, would that count?” [ way to go Einstein]

Caution to Presidential Candidates (especially the Lalloo Panjoo ones): Election seasons here. Be careful of what you say from now on! I am watching !