1. Sir: ** Explaining about powerful channels **
Stud: Sir, I was with an FMCG company [Oh !! Achievement !] and Walmart was our distribution channel [Wow!! Take a Bow). They used to twist our hands so that we make innovative products [Iodex sales hit an all-time high] How do we tackle such channels who force us to innovate [And we thought that innovating is a good thing!]
Sir: ** Part stumped ** Isn’t innovating a good thing? [It would soon be outlawed]
2. ** During Marketing mid-term exams the clock was running 10 mins slow. So people were arguing with invigilator before exams started to let them start as it was already 2.30pm as per their watches **
Invigilator: I am going to start at 2.30pm on this watch and end by 4.30pm on this watch.
Student 1: Then most of us will pray that the clock comes to a standstill before 4.30pm
Student 2: Dude, this is written exam. There are no points for Arbit CP.
Section - B
1. Mktg Prof: ** Asking people as to who all have done "cold-calling" at their jobs. Lot of enthu junta. Points to one of them and asks which industry **
Student: Ours was Customer to Business [See the irony. Customer Business wale ko shendi lagake maal bech raha hai]
2. Prof: Why are we trying to teach you a new & different way of thinking?
Student: For RoI
3. Prof: What is rationality?
Student 1: Inherent in-built set of conditions
Student 2: It is the idea of a reason
Student 3: It is about behaving rationally
Student 4: So is economics irrelevant to irrationals ?
4. Prof: ** Discussing about indifferent curves **
Student 1 : Why cant we call it happiness curves ?
Student 2: I have a doubt about equally inconsistent curve.
Prof: ** stumped but explains to him that its indifference curve **
Student 3: Isnt this curve the reason behind economic recession ?
Prof: ** stumped and silenced **
5. Prof: ** Discussing about Consumer Behaviour. Shows picture of urinal with a picture of fly in it **
Student: Why is it a fly ?
Section - D
Arbit email of the day which was recalled and resent just to replace the underlined word with the word in [bold]
"As some of you may recall [since you have been joblessly spamming as well as memorizing names of mail senders in Student_General] my dell laptop got damaged about 2 weeks ago. I have decided to buy a new laptop coz its going to take time to get the old one repaired.
So I’d like your help. If you guys know of any good and/or new models or cheap [good] [good and cheap are interchangeable] deals in Hyderabad I would really like to hear from you. My requirement is pretty standard – lightweight, durable, min 2 GB RAM, Non-Dell. [I wonder which company offers non-Dell models as standard] I’m sure many of you would have looked around a bit when buying your laptop prior to coming to IME. [Nopes, In Obama we trust]
I’m still in the process of narrowing down to 2-3 options after which I will speak with dealers. So any help is appreciated. (Maybe you guys should vote for which laptop I get.. he he.. don’t worry that’s not gonna happen). [Because we''ll probably not even bother clicking]"
2. Another arbit mail:
"I almost feel bad for doing this. [stress on almost] I wanted to help in any way possible but I am in the morning sessions and I cannot possibly skip the classes, unless you can get me an allowance [You did the Financial accounting class. Didnt you?]
Section E
1. Nomination for the heaviest jargon laden email:
"The important spirit here is, and needs to be extended to several clubs and activities –
>> Encourage more Target Focus groups who will help position the IME students correctly to cater to the different industry requirements.
I think the Tech and Telecom group has taken a heads up lead, which shall help us create significant momentum in the coming months.
2. Nomination for the most pointed and specific mail
"I have lost my spectacles today. Request whoever finds it to notify me and let me know." [I am proud of you ! Good description on how your specs looks. Consider a career in working for Lost and Never Found department]
Section G
Mkting Prof while teaching ‘Price Engineering ‘ – So, why do you think this company has decided to decrease the price every week, and has declared it to its customers on the first day itself……
Student – Sir, the difference in prices is the price of gas, the customer will spend to come to shop again…. People might not prefer it…. You know, in US, time is very precious !! [Dude, we know you worship US but time is precious in
Section H
Arbit email nomination to the guy whose phone is broken so he has shared his pain as well as contact number with the entire Co2010. Get ready for another deluge of mails from people who soiled their pants, tore their T-shirts, burnt morning breakfast etc etc
GSB Special Section
1. How do you get know that more than required people are standing for the GSB post ?
1. * When in a marketing class the number of hands that go up to answer “ who’s up for GSB “ is more than the ones up to do Arbit CP.
2. * When In a birthday dunking – more GSB aspirants turn up to dunk the birthday boy/ Girl than the section mates.
* When you cant walk 5 mins before being mobbed by a aspirant who starts by saying
"It’s to let you know, I am contesting for the GSB President. I value your inputs and would like to hear from you over the next week by talking more about my background, values and the difference I will bring to the GSB."
2. About 2 dozen hopefuls at assembled today at Bhoopali Conference room in the CCA office
Shiv: What questions do you have?
Major Om Shanti Om: Sarovar .. blah blah ....
[This year GSB president will cook for us to win votes. May the best cook win]
3. Fry-yank: As a batch we want to leave legacy behind. We want to make IME carbon neutral. [What the F will Oxygen do?] One of us in this room will get elected [I pray that it is me] and carry this forward [Class of 2008 Lounge, Class of 2009 Amphitheatre, Class of 2010 Carbon Bullshit]
4. P-foosh: ** Damn the devil is sitting here ! Better not say anything lest he connect it to London Loo ! **
5. Twenty-Tunn makes a entry: Yesterday there was a mail on 100% mandatory Attendance. I want to make it a poll issue. After I get Tunn at nights how can you expect me to turn up for classes?
6. Okshut: Can I form my government with outside support ? I sent a fundoo sounding but frustoo looking mail on Economics to entire student community (that too a day after mids ! Talk about getting a life) including both the Profs. They'll support my campaign I know !
7. Nakli Nivas: Though I want to stand but seeing all these people I should not disclose that I am standing. Let this come as a surprise. Probably the shock value will win me votes !
8. Pinja: Damn ! I am at the wrong audition again ! Where is Anu Malik ?
9. Homnath: Why cant we have preferential voting? My marketing plan is to position myself as second preference candidate so that people end up voting different people as first choice and only me as seconf choice. That way I'll win !! What a idea, sirjee !
10. Prankaj Fodder: Damn ! I wanted to build Jumbles Nivas as our legacy ! Now I'll have to convince the dean and others and proabably offer them 1-BHK flats in the vicinity too ! This is my unfulfilled wish from Virginia Tech days when I was treasurer !
